It's amazing how much better I feel after a few good nights of sleep. I spent so much of this week going to bed at 1 or 1:30 (silly disc golf) and getting up at 7:30 (stupid econ midterm and foam buying). For me at least, that's not what you would call sustainable. But the last couple days I've gotten to relax which is nice. Thursday was probably the best. I was laying around after a shower reading and drinking tea before going to the colbert report. It feels so nice to do nothing.

By the way, the Daily Show and the Colbert Report were both amazing and I think I like Colbert better. First of all, I was in the front row and he totally touched my hand (sigh) and second of all, he just says shit that people can't get away with saying. Though the daily show had a great segment on the ban of the n-word. And both Steward and Colbert came out before the show to talk to the audience and they're both really sharp and quick thinking. It was great.

Last night I should have gone kareokeing. I told my engineers I'd hang out with them but they were totally lame and boring and wouldn't stop talking about baseball stats and how they're kept. I don't even care about baseball let alone the stats.

Also I'm ridiculously excited about my prom dresses which are now normal dresses. Unreasonably excited. Mostly because I liked them so much at the time (6/7 years ago) and never got to wear them again. And now that they're cut off at the knees, I can. Which is also good because it means I didn't have to buy a dress for mike lui's wedding tommorrow.

I'm freaking out about housing for next year. There are so many variables and I can't work with all of them including....

Knowns:
Start date = July 16th
I need an apartment

Variables:
Location: brooklyn v. UWS
Roommates: me OR me + leora OR me+leora+tracy
if leora and/or tracy, then the apartment/ neighborhood needs to be kosher
if leora then the rent needs to be under $700
Time frame: july OR aug OR sept and if aug or sept then....
Summer sublet: full summer OR one month

It got much more complicated when aron decided to stay in his apartment for the summer instead of moving to westchester so I can't sublet from him unless I want to move in with him and I don't. Which means I have to get a place earlier than I planned which stresses leora out because she has less time to save money and she makes so little of it. And now she's talking about bailing on me which is fine if she does it now and not so fine if she does it in a month or two. AHHHHHHH!!!!

This past week (last week I guess) went by in a blur. Not in a good way either. A couple of hours after my last post, last monday Jen called to tell me that Tracy's mom died. It was the worst news I'd heard in a long time. Every time I thought about it, I thought about how I would feel if it was my mom and I broke down. I think all of us were upset for tracy, yes, but also for our own families and the inevitable future.

The funeral was aweful. I'd never been to one that had such raw emotions. I was so young when my grandparents died, and it seemed natural because they were so old. My aunt jo's death was long expected, and the memorial services I've been to have been a little time after the death. This was the day after and she died suddenly. The family had no time to process and the ceremony was so intense. Standing outside at the burial, listening to dirt fall on wood was one of the worst sounds I've ever heard in my life. Afterwards me and turtle. and sarah went to V&T and sat for three and a half hours decompressing and catching up and arguing with a little old italian waiter about our order.

I spent most of the rest of the week completely losing track of all of my classes and driving up to westchester. Sarah was already in from seattle, anna flew in from tucson and sheera from LA. It's strange to think that that's how we're going to be from now on; we'll get together for weddings and funerals and not much else. Despite the circumstances, it was good to see everyone.

Friday and Saturday the family was shabbatting it so they weren't accepting visitors but I still ended up in westchester both days, friday to check out IBM Fishkill with aron because he's working there over the summer and saturday to go golfing. It turned out to be great that I had a car this week because I wouldn't have been able to get up to the funeral or the shiva so many times without it, but I'm glad my mom took it back. It's a pain in the ass to find parking.

In other news, Saturday night, 5 members of the frisbee team got written up by the cops for 3 seperate offenses. And we got kicked out of a bar. That was ridiculous. I hadn't even wanted to go downtown cause I had just been down there having dinner with my mom, but I'm glad I did. I also gradually worked up to telling my mom that I'm going to ireland with aron. Well, I didn't exactly tell her but i dropped hints that I might so it won't be so much of a shock when i tell her that i have tickets.

Back from spring break this morning at 4:45 am. Man that trip was exhausting. I ended up driving the first 4.5 hours, resting for 4, shot gunning for 3 and then driving for 3. Which means I was awake almost the entire time. The last leg into new jersey, everything was blurry; I couldn't tell what lanes the cars in front of me were in and I couldn't read the signs at all. But John and Goose were in worse shape and jamie disqualified herself when she fell asleep as shotgun so for the third year in a row I drove into manhattan.

I was not expecting much from this spring break but it turned out to be awesome, one of the best ones I've had. I really like being a captain because I like making decisions and being able to set the tone for the trip. For me that means, morning practices, evening work outs and lots of chilling in between. I liked that it was a diverse crowd with some people going crazy and some people chilling out. I also liked that it was warm sunny right on the beach and beautiful. And that I didn't get arrested for supplying alcohol to minors. It hadn't even occured to me what a risk I was taking until we got kicked out of the house on thursday and i realized that someone could have called the police and then i would have been screwed.

I have to finish my french essay and ask for an extension on my fluids homework and despite my five hour nap this morning its still hard to see straight. I'm skipping econ for sure. Sarah's in town the week so I need to hang out with her. Anyway this week will work itself out if I can get through the next few days.

PS

To complicate my gender aware weekend, I just went to Eunji's blog and I love that quote.

time to start this shit up again....

I'm not going to try to go through a play by play of the last few weeks. They've been busy and fun and stressful and relaxed and whatever. But now I'm sitting at home in Medfield, my dad and I just finished watching the illusionist which is an excellent movie, and I feel like posting. So there.

Happy B Day Karen!

I'm having a gender aware weekend. Meaning I've had several conversations with people where they've said things and then apologized for offending me by being sexist. Usually some comment on a girl's looks or a joke about something or other. None of their comments offended me because they came from people I knew who I know for a fact respect me and respect women. At least most of the time.

But then today, I was clicking around on Amazon looking for something else entirely and I ended up in this religious marriage help book section where everything had titles like "The Surrendered Wife" and "Liberated Through Submission" and goddamn did that push every single one of my feminist buttons. Even more so because they say enough true things to draw you in and then come to a conclusion that I disagree with entirely. Like for example....premise: constant power struggles erode marriages....conclusion: man = right, woman = silent. In my book, premise = true, conclusion = false. Friendships don't sustain themselves by having one person always in control. It's a constant balance which almost never makes a difference especially if both people are pretty laidback. Why should relationships be any different?

On the other hand, I think personally I've been being pretty bitchy lately to a lot of people. One of my personal goals is to stop being so negative all the time.

Anyway that's my rant for the day. In other news, I think its really funny that the Swiss just invaded someone by mistake. That totally ruins their perfect record.