more interviews
I am ridiculously tired cause my valve group made me stay up til 4 in the morning to work on a presentation that it turned out we didn't even do today (half the groups presented this morning at 9, half will go thursday; he picked out of a hat this morning). I like my group a lot but I hate group project. I don't stay up late to do work! I just don't. I need my sleep, I plan ahead, I do things in the morning, whatever it takes to have me tucked in by midnight or 1. So I was just getting bitchier and bitchier as the project dragged on and people got even more ADD and anal retentive. Just cause you're all night owls, why are you making me suffer? So now I'm tired as hell and therefore moody and depressed.
Mostly depressed about jobs. It seems so unlikely that I'll ever find anything and I have three interviews this week, one tomorrow morning at 9:45. I know I'm going to bomb it which is making me depressed. And the one I have Friday (8:30 AM on wall street, shoot me now) is basically my last chance. Its the only second round I have left and the only other two companies that haven't rejected me, one is human resources consulting which is basically just firing people and one is the company steve works for so even if i get the job i can't really take it. So I have to do well at my second round on Friday but i've been rejected so many times, I feel like there's no way they're going to make me an offer. I'm doing something wrong cause I'm getting tons of interviews and I'm blowing them and its so upsetting. Cause once you've had the interview, it's no longer "oh there were 150 resumes for 20 slots, its not personal". It's they met you, they talked to you, and they don't want you. So out of two first rounds this week and one second round, the second round is my last chance and its so scary and so depressing.
I spent linear algebra class trying to figure out whether i want to do peace corps. If i do, I'll be 27 when i get back. 27! And I'll have no job, no money, no relationship (most likely). I'll be just as poor and unattached as I am now. I mean, I know I'm going to be 27 anyway, but I can't commit 2 years to something that intense if its going to feel like losing time to me, like putting my life on hold. I'm already 2 years behind where I "should" be and most of the time I don't regret that. But to wait another 2 years before I settle down and get some stability in my life seems like way too much. 27 is old. By that time, I want to have money saved, i want to be with someone special, i want to be looking at real estate and giving back to the community locally. I don't want to get back and find that my friends have moved on, I'm coming up on my 10 year high school reunion, and I still have to find my first "real" job.
On the other hand, it's not like its a waste of time. It would be an incredible experience and more and more I'm interested in international development, non-profits, and socially concious business. It wouldn't be a waste. But 27. I just don't know.
Mostly depressed about jobs. It seems so unlikely that I'll ever find anything and I have three interviews this week, one tomorrow morning at 9:45. I know I'm going to bomb it which is making me depressed. And the one I have Friday (8:30 AM on wall street, shoot me now) is basically my last chance. Its the only second round I have left and the only other two companies that haven't rejected me, one is human resources consulting which is basically just firing people and one is the company steve works for so even if i get the job i can't really take it. So I have to do well at my second round on Friday but i've been rejected so many times, I feel like there's no way they're going to make me an offer. I'm doing something wrong cause I'm getting tons of interviews and I'm blowing them and its so upsetting. Cause once you've had the interview, it's no longer "oh there were 150 resumes for 20 slots, its not personal". It's they met you, they talked to you, and they don't want you. So out of two first rounds this week and one second round, the second round is my last chance and its so scary and so depressing.
I spent linear algebra class trying to figure out whether i want to do peace corps. If i do, I'll be 27 when i get back. 27! And I'll have no job, no money, no relationship (most likely). I'll be just as poor and unattached as I am now. I mean, I know I'm going to be 27 anyway, but I can't commit 2 years to something that intense if its going to feel like losing time to me, like putting my life on hold. I'm already 2 years behind where I "should" be and most of the time I don't regret that. But to wait another 2 years before I settle down and get some stability in my life seems like way too much. 27 is old. By that time, I want to have money saved, i want to be with someone special, i want to be looking at real estate and giving back to the community locally. I don't want to get back and find that my friends have moved on, I'm coming up on my 10 year high school reunion, and I still have to find my first "real" job.
On the other hand, it's not like its a waste of time. It would be an incredible experience and more and more I'm interested in international development, non-profits, and socially concious business. It wouldn't be a waste. But 27. I just don't know.
posted by influx @ 7:47 PM
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