Not quite ready to go back to my spread sheets

So I was reading over some of my posts for during the school year, and it made me realize exactly how unhappy I was last spring and exactly how relaxed I've been this summer. No wonder I don't want to go back to school. I was spending 16 hours a day in computer labs and libraries, fighting with Pro/ E, working hard on labs that I didn't do well on, struggling with concepts that other people seemed to understand. Add to that, not knowing whether I wanted to go back for another year, trying to figure out whether I was going to graduate, all my friends graduating, and of course, Stoops leaving. I have good reasons to get knots in my stumach when I think about Columbia. Yeah there were bright moments last semester (my amazing b day, disc golf, many hours spent playing on south lawn, hanging out with barnard friends, every time stoops visited), but for the most part, I was a freakin mess. I'm so chill right now. I don't want to lose that.