why I don't want to be an engineer....
In one sentance: I don't like it and I'm not good at it.
It's important to me to be able to use all part of my brain. It's practically how I define myself ("I may be an english major, but I'm also an engineer. Isn't that cool?"), but I think I've pushed it as far as I can. I don't want to beat my head against the wall or take my life in directions that will make me unhappy just to prove a point. And I have a lot of other strengths; I'll just fall back on them. It's not that easy of course. Engineering has been my plan for the last four years and to discover that its not for me has been a real shock. I guess I'm just trying to spin the experience into something other than a failure.
Practically, I don't know what that decisian means yet. I could finish this year and be done with school for good. I'll have a BA from Barnard and a shitload of engineering classes, and I'd go find a job or travel. Or I could finish the program and use it as a jumping off point to a consulting job, as a way to distinguish myself from the crowd of econ majors.
But there are so many unknown factor and questions.... If I stay the extra year, am I really going to get a benefit from it that would make it worth the huge investment of time and money? If I don't stay, will potential employers question my follow through or find me less of an attractive canidate as "just" an English major? Would it prevent me from getting into grad school? Am I absolutly positive that I don't want to do engineering or any related career? Am I going to regret this (whatever this is)?
This feels like a very big choice. The idea of working as an engineer makes my stumach hurt, but I could do the extra year if I thought it would help me in the end. I'm a good enough student for that. I just don't know.
It's important to me to be able to use all part of my brain. It's practically how I define myself ("I may be an english major, but I'm also an engineer. Isn't that cool?"), but I think I've pushed it as far as I can. I don't want to beat my head against the wall or take my life in directions that will make me unhappy just to prove a point. And I have a lot of other strengths; I'll just fall back on them. It's not that easy of course. Engineering has been my plan for the last four years and to discover that its not for me has been a real shock. I guess I'm just trying to spin the experience into something other than a failure.
Practically, I don't know what that decisian means yet. I could finish this year and be done with school for good. I'll have a BA from Barnard and a shitload of engineering classes, and I'd go find a job or travel. Or I could finish the program and use it as a jumping off point to a consulting job, as a way to distinguish myself from the crowd of econ majors.
But there are so many unknown factor and questions.... If I stay the extra year, am I really going to get a benefit from it that would make it worth the huge investment of time and money? If I don't stay, will potential employers question my follow through or find me less of an attractive canidate as "just" an English major? Would it prevent me from getting into grad school? Am I absolutly positive that I don't want to do engineering or any related career? Am I going to regret this (whatever this is)?
This feels like a very big choice. The idea of working as an engineer makes my stumach hurt, but I could do the extra year if I thought it would help me in the end. I'm a good enough student for that. I just don't know.
posted by influx @ 2:36 PM
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